


The Winner Takes It All

by nerdcredred, Ocelot_l



Series: Lifetimes [36]
Category: Atop the Fourth Wall, That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: M/M, Multi, allusions to sex, sexual innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-25 02:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2605871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdcredred/pseuds/nerdcredred, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ocelot_l/pseuds/Ocelot_l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's poker night at the Casa de Dan, and the team and friends decide to engage in some healthy competition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All works can also be found at my LiveJournal page at http://bookishlady242.livejournal.com/
> 
> DISCLAIMER: We do not own the characters, the shows, or the people who portray the characters. This is meant as a work of fiction and is fair use. Please support the creators by watching their videos, letting the ads play, buying their DVDs and merchandise, and/or contributing to their Patreon(s). "The Winner Takes It All" is performed by ABBA.

90s Kid stood at the end of a grocery store aisle, checking to make sure no one else was walking inside it, before he hopped onto his cart and cruised merrily past the shelves. He only jumped down to grab bags of chips, pretzels, popcorn, and all sorts of snacks which could be enjoyed at the poker party Dan was holding that night. After checking the crumpled napkin that constituted his list, he added a few six-packs of soda pop, as well as some cookies and candy bars, to his ever growing pile of junk food. When the stash finally grew so large that 90s Kid started to have trouble seeing around it, he headed for the check-out lanes, where he saw Linksano standing and holding a few cases of beer. The scientist grinned at his approach before looking down to check out the wares inside the cart. 

“I can always count on you to make splendid refreshment choices, 90s Kid.”

“I know what to bring to a party, man.” 90s Kid grinned back at him before they set to work loading all the items onto the conveyor belt. Linksano whistled when he saw the total cost of their purchases.

“Linkara is not going to be pleased when he sees this,” he said before cackling. “It’s a good thing Boffo lent me his credit card or we’d never be able to afford it all!”

“For sure, dude,” 90s Kid agreed as he looked at the numerous bags they were now tasked with carrying to the car. “We all, like, totally eat too much.”

“Well, one can’t help but indulge during a party,” Linksano replied with a shrug. “Come on, let’s get to work.” 90s Kid nodded and helped load up Linksano’s arms before picking up the rest of the bags himself. They managed to make it to the car in only one trip and worked speedily to pack the groceries away. “So I take it you’re excited about tonight’s game?” Linksano asked, slamming the trunk closed.

“Oh yeah, dude! It’s so radical that everybody’s gonna be there tonight, cuz Dan’s house is totally awesome!” The scientist chuckled as he slid behind the wheel at 90s Kid’s enthusiasm.

“Everything is going to be awesome tonight, man,” 90s Kid continued as he buckled his seatbelt. “Dan’s always got the most awesome junk, like, all over the place, and his roommates and neighbors are totally the best dudes and dudettes ever! Oh, except for you guys, of course.” Linksano chuckled and flashed 90s Kid a fond smile, which quickly turned teasing.

“I also presume you’re excited to be spending the weekend with your paramour? You two haven’t been together since our voyage to the seaside, so I’m sure you’ll be eager to reaffirm your bonds, no?”

“Uh, huh?” At 90s Kid’s blank look Linksano sighed and turned back to the road.

“I was just asking if you were happy to be having some alone time with Dan.”

“Oh. Well duh. Of course I am!” 90s Kid beamed as he thought about seeing his boyfriend. “We totally have the best times when we hang, and we, like, do all sorts of awesome junk together!”

“I’m sure you two find many ways to entertain yourselves when you’re alone,” Linksano said, his teasing smile returning. 90s Kid seemed to notice this time since he quickly turned to stare out the window as his face reddened.

“Uh, y-yeah, whatever dude. Um, so like, are you good? At poker, I mean?”

Linksano cackled and decided to accept the new topic of conversation. “Oh yes, it’s an activity I’ve enjoyed since my youth, when my brother and I would wager our weekly allowances. I look forward to showcasing my abilities tonight, as well as to winning that grand prize.”

“I just wanna win once,” 90s Kid admitted as they pulled into a parking space in front of their building. “I’ve, like, never played before and I don’t know if I’ll be any good.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it so much,” Linksano tried to reassure him as they headed up to the base with their purchases. “Poker is all about psychological manipulation. If you can convince the other players that you’ve got a winning hand, you can claim victory with even a pair of twos! Just concentrate on projecting an air of confidence, 90s Kid.”

“Sure, dude.” 90s Kid pondered this as they walked through the door before noticing the others were preparing for the evening as well. Harvey was examining the bottles he kept in the liquor cabinet, before eyeing a tall, brown one with a knowing grin.

“I’ve been waiting for a chance to crack open this baby for years.” He slid the bottle of scotch into a velvet bag and set it down, before turning to the others. “Looks like you guys stocked up real good.” Linksano nodded and tossed Harvey a fresh pack of cigarettes from out of his pocket. “Thanks a bundle, doc. This’ll be a good time.”

“Now, c’mon, Pollo, don’t take that attitude with me. Tonight is going to be fun!” Linkara told the robot as they both entered the room. “There’s even going be another robot there for you to talk to. You’ve met ROB before, right?” Pollo turned toward Linkara, his voice about as cynical as a robot could muster.

“Under less than pleasant circumstances, but yes I have. He rather annoys me. But seeing as you think we’d get along swimmingly because we are both machines, I’m sure that if I extended an invitation to Gary Brodsky or Rob Liefeld to attend this party, you would get along just fine, since you are all warm-blooded mammals. Right?” Linkara scowled in annoyance, while 90s Kid’s head turned suddenly.

“Dude! If you could invite Rob Liefeld, it’d be the best party EVER!” Boffo quickly covered his mouth to hide his smile as Linkara’s frown deepened. 

“Please, let’s not mention any more ideas which will give me nightmares,” he pleaded, earning good-natured laughs from the others. Pollo, still muttering about being forced to attend that evening’s event, floated over to the couch where Ninja-Style Dancer was doing some pre-party stretching. 

Linkara’s smile returned when he noticed the groceries and he nodded at Linksano. “Thanks for doing the shopping for me. I just had to get that script finished before I could even think about going out tonight.”

“No problem, although 90s Kid actually picked out most of the food,” Linksano said, smiling again at the teen. “Oh, that reminds me!” He reached for his coin purse and plucked a credit card from it before handing it to Boffo. “Thanks again for lending this to us. Your generosity will ensure we all have a splendid time tonight!” The clown smiled as he slid the card into a jacket pocket and signed to him. 

_The fact that you will be attending this party with me guarantees a wonderful time._ Linksano’s cheeks turned pink and he fidgeted slightly, though his lips couldn’t help curving into a smile. 

“Is it too much to hope for that you’ll, erm, s-sit next to me?” Linksano asked shyly. Boffo put a hand to his mouth as he chuckled and then he kissed Linksano’s cheek. 

_You know you don’t have to ask, Oscar. My preferred seat is always next to you._ Boffo’s eyes suddenly twinkled mischievously. _Or even on top of you._ Linksano went bright red as he thought of Boffo taking a seat in his lap while Ninja, the only one who was aware of their conversation, shook his head and continued stretching. 

Linkara, intending to pick his keys up from the kitchen counter, quickly noticed another item sitting there which caused him to sigh. “90s Kid! Did you leave the milk out again?”

“Huh?” 90s Kid frowned slightly. “Uh, no, dude, I totally don’t think-”

“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not to leave food out! Especially not food that spoils!”

“But I didn’t-”

“And I saw a pile of dirty clothes all along the floor of your room,” Linkara continued as he came back into the room. “Isn’t it about time you did some laundry?”

90s Kid pouted slightly. “I’m gonna do it, dude, but I just wanted to wait until after the party. Jeez, it’s not like it’s your clothes or anything. And-hey! Why are you, like, even going in my room when I’m not here?” He shot Linkara an annoyed look, which caused him to roll his eyes.

“I was looking for one of my tools. I thought you were using it and I needed to finish the repairs on a Cybermat. You know you’re not supposed to take my things without asking, 90s Kid.”

90s Kid looked offended. “I know, dude, and I totally didn’t take it, but that’s still not a cool reason for going in my room, man.” 90s Kid crossed his arms and glared, which only made Linkara roll his eyes again.

“Oh, please forgive me for invading your privacy,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I should certainly know better than to enter one of _my_ rooms in _my_ own apartment.” 90s Kid’s shoulders tensed and his hands started to curl into fists. Harvey, sensing the situation could very easily turn bad, walked over to Linkara and gave him a gentle nudge in the ribs.

“Hey, now, c’mon, Kid. Junior has a point here. You shouldn’t be poking your nose in where it doesn’t belong. Besides, I was the one who took your sonic-thing and left that milk out, so I’m the one who should be getting chewed out.”

Linkara still seemed ready to argue, but Harvey’s eyes grew pleading, so he sighed and offered 90s Kid the least apologetic look he could muster.

“All right, fine. Sorry, 90s Kid. Now, where did you leave my screwdriver, Harvey?”

“Right this way.” Harvey escorted him from the room, leaving 90s Kid to slump down onto the couch and fold his arms.

“Why is Linkara always, like, doing that to me? Treating me like a baby or something.”

“You know he doesn’t mean to do that,” Linksano said, coming over to sit beside him. Ninja-Style Dancer finished his knee bends and nodded.

*Linkara cannot help but subconsciously act as a parental figure to you. Since you are the youngest on the team, he is worried most about your safety and well-being.*

“Yeah, well, he totally doesn’t have to act like my mom or something,” 90s Kid muttered, picking at the frayed edges of his jean shorts.

“Please just humor him for now,” Pollo said, hovering over to join the group. “Linkara won’t always see you as the child of the group, but right now it seems to ease his nerves if he perceives you as one.” Boffo honked his horn in agreement and smiled at 90s Kid as well, which caused him to adjust his sunglasses and sigh.

“Ugh, fine, whatever.”

“Now, now, cheer up,” Linksano said, patting him on the shoulder. “Remember, we’re soon to be off for a night of merriment and mirth with your beloved beau! Linkara is sure to relax once he’s played a few rounds and indulged in some of our delicious snacks!”

90s Kid smiled as his thoughts returned to Dan. “Yeah. You’re totally right, dude. I just have to chill, and Linkara totally will too. This party is going to be extremely awesome, I just know it!”

“That’s the spirit!” Linksano cackled, clapping his hands together happily. “Now, remember to hold onto those feelings once your cards have been dealt.”

“Oh, right, dude! I’m totally gonna win big tonight!” 

*I am pleased to know you will be offering a challenge.* Ninja-Style Dancer’s eyes crinkled behind his mask as he smiled. Feeling much more relaxed now, 90s Kid began explaining how he’d never played poker before and soon the group was trading tips and strategies for the game. By the time Harvey and Linkara returned, everyone was in high spirits, even Pollo.

“Beating Linkara will more than make up for having to endure an evening with ROB,” the robot confided to 90s Kid, who only shrugged and nodded, since he thought ROB was an awesome robo-dude to hang with.

“All right, does everyone have their things?” Linkara asked, looking around the room at them all. His gaze stopped on 90s Kid and his eyebrows rose slightly. “90s Kid, aren’t you bringing your sleeping bag? You and Dan are having another slumber party this weekend, right?”

90s Kid’s face reddened again as soft snickers broke out, none of which Linkara seemed to notice. “Oh, uh, I, um, left it at Dan’s place before. So it’s, like, already there.”

“Oh. That’s convenient.” Linkara nodded, happy with the excuse, while 90s Kid heaved a silent sigh of relief. As much as he hated Linkara treating him like a little kid, he hated the thought of having to discuss the personal matters of his relationship with him even more, so 90s Kid was ready to endure the teasing from the team and the cluelessness from Linkara for as long as possible.

“Yeah, totally.” Forcing his thoughts back to Dan’s cheerful face, 90s Kid relaxed and smiled brightly at his friends. “Now, c’mon, you guys, we better get moving! We don’t wanna be late for, like, all the fun!”

*I would not wish to miss a second, but I have an errand to attend to first* Ninja informed the group as he suddenly stood. *I will meet you all at Dan’s house shortly.* After giving a polite bow, Ninja vanished in a puff of smoke that left everyone coughing.

“Jeez, I hate when he does that,” Harvey muttered as he pulled a cigarette out of his case and lit it. “Breathing in that stuff can’t be good for a fellow.” He took a long drag on his cigarette before he noticed Linkara staring at him incredulously. “What?”

“Nothing. Let’s just get going before it gets dark.”

\------

Ninja appeared in front of a familiar apartment door and gave a short knock. Seconds later, the door swung open and Ted’s beaming face appeared to welcome him.

“Greetings Ninja! I am so happy to see you today!” Without thinking, Ted pulled the other man into a warm hug, which was allowed for ten seconds before Ninja pried the arms off his torso. “My apologies,” Ted said, blushing slightly as he held the door open for him. “It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you that I was feeling lonely.”

*Ted, we saw each other two days ago.*

“I know, and the past 48 hours apart have been just dreadful,” Ted murmured, his eyes almost shimmering with tears. Ninja rolled his eyes though he also found a smile forming on his lips.

*I am sorry that being apart has had such a negative effect on you. I will do my best to make up for it tonight after the party has ended. Speaking of which, are you prepared for this party, Ted?*

While Ninja was growing more comfortable in his relationship with Ted, he was still somewhat hesitant about introducing his new boyfriend to the others. He had therefore decided to see how Ted interacted with his comrades at a neutral location, namely Dan’s poker game, and if the evening went well, he and Ted would announce their relationship to everyone.

“Yes, I am ready, Ninja,” Ted agreed as he tightened the belt around his head. “I will be thoroughly witty, charming, and impressive tonight, and prove to the world that I am worthy to be at your side.”

*You do not need to prove that, Ted. I have already deemed you worthy of remaining at my side, so that is all that needs to be said on the matter* Ninja reassured him, earning himself another glomp. *I hope these unwarranted displays of affection will not be happening tonight, Ted* he warned after allowing the embrace for a full minute this time, since 48 hours was actually a long period of time when he thought about it.

“They won’t,” Ted quickly promised, pulling back and quickly straightening his robes. “I will be on my best behavior in front of your friends. They will not suspect that there is a thing between us other than a friendly rivalry. I might even end up impressing you with my card skills,” Ted added, his expression fairly confident.

Ninja bit back a laugh. *We shall see, Ted.* Ninja would honestly be impressed if Ted ended the night without dropping something into the fondue pot, but he wisely chose not to say this. *So, shall we be off?* He extended his hand to Ted, and Ted eagerly accepted it.

“We shall!” 

\------

Linkara blew into his hands as the chilled air wafted around him before he knocked on Dan’s door. The others would have done the same, but their arms were too full of refreshments to move. Fortunately, Dan had been anticipating their arrival and he opened the door before Linkara could even pull his hand back. He grinned widely and ushered them all inside with a flourish of his hands. 

“Welcome, friends! C’mon in and get out of the cold!”

“Oh, it isn’t that bad,” Linkara tried to dismiss before he was shoved aside by several people who scrambled into the house. He frowned slightly but a gentle hand on his back from Harvey caused him to relax again and he quickly joined the others inside. “I hope you guys are hungry, since we brought half the supermarket with us,” he joked as he placed a few bags onto the coffee table. Dan looked at their purchases in surprise.

“You didn’t need to go to such trouble, my friends. Dolly and I were planning on taking care of all that.” He pointed toward an already food-laden table. “Plus we’ve got a few pizzas coming within the hour. Oh boy, I don’t know how we’re going to be able to eat all this food.”

“Don’t worry about it, dude. You know we’re, like, always up for an extreme eating challenge!” 

Dan’s expression brightened, as it usually did, when he lay on eyes on the teenager. “Hey, Kid!” he called before he pulled 90s Kid into his arms and kissed him warmly. “You know, you’re right. I don’t have to worry about any snacks going to waste when you and I are on the case.”

“What you should worry about is 90s Kid eating himself sick instead,” Linkara muttered, earning an annoyed glance from the teen.

“Dude, that would totally never happen. I know how to, like, pace myself.” 

“Of course you do,” Dan said, still smiling as he kept his hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders. “So, you ready for the game tonight?”

“You bet, man! I am stoked to play some extreme poker! Oh!” 90s Kid’s eyebrows suddenly rose up. “I know we’re gonna be up totally late tonight, so I managed to snag these!” 90s Kid dug into one of his bags before holding up a six-pack of Jolt Cola to Dan’s extreme delight. “This is, like, one of the things you had back in the 80s, right?” Dan nodded enthusiastically before pulling 90s Kid close for another kiss.

“Yep, 1985! I’ve been looking for some original cans of these for months! To borrow your phrase: best boyfriend ever!” 90s Kid giggled as Dan wrapped his arms around his waist and rubbed noses with him.

“Oh God, it’s starting already,” ROB droned as he was carried downstairs by Dolly. “Dan, I’m begging you, keep those disgusting displays of affection away from me. I really don’t want to start vomiting battery acid all over your rug again.”

“Yes, I can really see the appeal of spending time with him,” Pollo snarked to Linkara, who ignored him to focus on loading a paper plate with salsa and chips.

“Come on, ROB, be nice,” Dolly said, rapping the robot lightly on his head as she made her way over to the group. “They’re cute together, and seeing Dan happy with someone gives me hope about finding a relationship too.”

Dolly set ROB down and was about to check on the fondue pot when she noticed Boffo and Linksano standing in the doorway to the kitchen and holding hands. “Oh hey. How’s it going? Sorry to split you up, but can I just squeeze by?” 

“Oh of course,” Linksano replied, quickly separating from Boffo. “To answer your first question, we are doing splendidly, and we’d both like to thank you to inviting us to this charming soiree.” Boffo squeezed his horn in agreement, which got ROB’s attention.

“A clown dating a mad scientist? That’s worthy of a whole episode of Jerry Springer,” he quipped in his cynical drone. “So hey, when you squeeze it, does it honk too?”

Linksano’s jaw set and he resisted the urge to crush the robot under his boot. “I have three screwdrivers in my coat pocket and I know how to use them, you worthless peripheral!”

“Will you two turkeys knock it off?” Harvey snapped. “You should know better than to fight in the presence of a lady.” Linksano sighed in reluctant compliance with Harvey’s orders, though his angry gaze remained fixed on ROB until Boffo led him off to gorge on snacks with the others. Dolly flashed a grateful smile to Harvey. The singer’s fedora had left his head the moment she’d arrived, as he was a gentleman above all else, and he responded to her graciousness by taking her hand and gently smiling back. “It’s truly a pleasure to see you, Miss Dolly. How are you this evening? I hope those numbskulls haven’t made you uncomfortable with their bawdy conversation.” 

Dolly shrugged and nodded at him in return, before looking faintly bored once again.

“Nah, they’re fine and I’m alright myself, I guess. Oh, but you don’t have to call me miss, just Dolly is fine.” 

“Of course,” Harvey replied as he bowed before her. Dolly arched an eyebrow at him.

“Uh look, I know I said I was looking for a relationship, but I’m not really interested in dating someone who’s so much more…mature than me.”

“I-I wasn’t coming on to ya!” Harvey replied, looking very flustered all of a sudden. “And what do you mean by ‘mature’ anyway?”

Dolly chuckled and patted his arm. “Don’t worry about it, gramps.” She walked back into the living room then, leaving Harvey to sulk before he went off in search of Linkara, and turned her attention to her guests. 

“Does anybody want a beer while I’m up?” As if on cue, Travis came down the stairs, nodded to her, and then rolled his eyes when he saw Dan wave eagerly at him. Dan was always waving at him, even if they met ten times a day.

“Two beers, Dolly.” 

Mrs. Crabtree followed close behind her husband, much to ROB’s delight. “I’ll have two beers too.” Harvey, seeing a chance to boost his wounded ego, lifted his hat again and bowed to her in greeting, gallantly ignoring the odd look she gave him in return. “Whoa!” Mrs. Crabtree’s gaze quickly landed on the velvet bag and bottle resting before her on the table. “Who brought the quality scotch?”

Harvey held it up with a smile. “That would be me. You have a good eye, Mrs. Crabtree. Eight year old Macallan, this is. Would you care for a glass?” 

“Sure.” Mrs. Crabtree smiled and quickly picked one up, watching thirstily as Harvey poured her a decent-sized glass of the liquid before pouring one of his own. ROB rolled over, suddenly very annoyed with Harvey.

“Hey, I’m wearing a bow tie just like he is! What does he have that I don’t?” 

Pollo hovered over Harvey’s shoulder, again sounding as exasperated as one could in monotone. “Perhaps you’re forgetting that you are an obsolete piece of machinery that has only two outdated functions, neither of them particularly good at pleasing a human woman.”

“Hey, Linkara, I like your robot!” Travis called out as he twisted the cap off his beer. ROB growled at them both.

“Who asked you, Speak-and-Spell? You couldn't get a woman like Mrs. Crabtree even if you didn’t have a voice that sounded like a can opener having sex with a record player!” 

“Oh, good one. You’ve hurt me deeply with your confusing words,” Pollo calmly replied, which seemed to be good enough for ROB, since he turned his attention solely to Mr. Crabtree then. The two engaged in what wouldn’t be their last shouting match of the night, only stopping when another knock sounded at the door. 

“Greetings, Dan,” Ted said as he bowed. “Thank you so very much for inviting me to your party this evening.”

*I wish to extend my thanks as well* Ninja said from his spot beside Ted. *I was just telling Ted, whom I randomly bumped into completely coincidentally as I was walking up the front steps of your house, that I expect this evening to be very pleasant.*

“I agreed with Ninja, a man whom I am only casually acquainted with, that this evening should indeed be pleasanter than most.” 

Not noticing anything strange about their oddly phrased sentences, Dan grinned and held the door wide open for them. “It’s great to have you both here. Please come in and enjoy yourselves.” 

Dan was about to close the door when another person suddenly appeared on his Welcome mat. At once, his face lit up at the sight of the Cinema Snob, who scowled in return.

“Dan, I swear to God, if you hug me, I’m gonna – hey!” Dan didn’t even let him finish his sentence before he grabbed Snob and squeezed him tightly.

“Oh, Snob, I know that you only protest to look cool and in actuality love my hugs!” 

Snob sighed in disgust and swiftly pushed him away, which just caused Dan to become even more delighted. “You promised me booze, Dan, and you’d better deliver on that.” 

“Of course, Snob. Let me get you a drink.” As Dan went to fetch a glass of scotch for his favorite friend, Snob reached into his jacket pocket for his pack of cigarettes, and groaned when he came up empty.

“Damn it.” Harvey, noticing his distress, withdrew his golden case and offered it to the reviewer. Snob looked up at him in surprise before accepting one. “Oh, thanks.” 

“No problem. It’s good to see you again.” Harvey also offered his hand for Snob to shake.

Snob looked the singer up and down and gave him a rare smile before accepting the handshake. “Right back at you.”

“Thank you kindly, Snob.” Snob nodded and let Harvey light his cigarette before watching the other man light another for himself. “So, how have you been? I haven’t seen you since our big beach trip.”

“I’m still trying to get all the sand out of my suits,” Snob groused, earning a soft chuckle from the singer. “But otherwise I’m fine. Phelous keeps getting on my ass to repay you for your generosity, so we were thinking about asking you all to karaoke one of these days. I’m not the biggest fan of that, but I know you are. You are one damn good singer – no, not just good, amazing.”

“Oh, go on,” Harvey said, his chest puffing up with pride as it always did when he was complimented on his singing.

“I’m serious,” Snob continued, taking another drag of his cigarette. “It takes a lot to impress a man with my level of refined taste, but you have swept me off my feet, Mr. Finevoice.”

Harvey beamed back at Snob, his slightly colored cheeks revealing just how pleased he felt. “You always were one of my favorite friends of the Kid, you know. How come you haven’t stopped by the base more often?”

“Because I’m afraid that if your ego grows any larger, Harvey, you’ll abandon us all for a life of fame and fortune as you tour the world.” Harvey turned with a grin as Linkara wandered over to the duo, two plates of snacks in his hands. “I just can’t take that risk, I’m afraid,” Linkara continued, his eyes and smile playful.

“Kid, you know you don’t ever have to worry about that,” Harvey replied as he took one of the plates. “When I travel the world, I’m getting you a first-class ticket so you can travel it with me.”

“You always have the best ideas.” As Linkara and Harvey leaned in for a kiss, Snob watched them, unimpressed.

“Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t come over that often,” he muttered, taking a long drag of his cigarette before heading over to the refreshments. “Dan, where the hell is my drink?”

“I’m not kidding, you know,” Harvey said once he pulled back. “One day, Kid, you and I are going places. We’ll see the world and see it in style.” 

Linkara blinked, true surprise coloring his features. “Harvey, that sounds amazing, but what about the others? I’m sure you weren’t planning on making this a trip for seven, but we can’t just leave them to watch over the base without us.”

“Why not? They’re all big boys who can take care of themselves.” 

Linkara glanced over at where Boffo was entertaining the Crabtrees by juggling cookies, and Ninja-Style Dancer was impressing Dan and 90s Kid with some fancy card-shuffling tricks.

“Well, most of them can, but think about 90s Kid. He can’t be left without either of us there, not after everything that’s happened to him.”

Harvey frowned and set down his plate and glass. “Kid, look, I know you’re worried about Junior. I am too, but you gotta accept that he’s growing up. He’s not just some dumb kid anymore, regardless of how he acts whenever a new comic comes out; he’s more capable than you think. You can’t keep underestimating him like this.”

Linkara met Harvey’s frown with a stubborn look the singer was very familiar with. “Harvey, you can’t be serious. You know firsthand how many dumb things 90s Kid still does on a weekly basis. He’s not mature enough for us to just leave alone like that. Hell, he still needs our help finding his shoes half the time.”

Harvey couldn’t help chuckling at this sadly accurate assessment, but he soon calmed down and tried again to argue his point. “Okay, missing shoes aside, you gotta admit that you’ve been going a little hard on Junior lately. That birthday party we threw was for him turning eighteen, which makes him a genuine adult, Kid. I think it’s time we ease up on all the nagging and worrying, and let him have a chance to prove himself.”

Linkara’s frown deepened. “He might be getting older, but he still can’t make important decisions on his own. You know how impulsive and reckless he can be. What if we were attacked all of a sudden? Would you trust 90s Kid to handle the situation? Do you really think he could keep a cool head and deal with the many problems that could pop up all by himself?”

Harvey sighed and shook his head. “Even though I personally think Junior would be better at that stuff than you’d expect, that’s different from what I’m getting at. I’m talking about a vacation, Kid, and leaving him to his own devices at a time when it’s perfectly safe. I’d trust him completely in that situation.”

“It’s not different at all,” Linkara insisted before swiveling his head to the right suddenly. Dolly had just brought out a tray of pigs in a blanket for the guests and 90s Kid was eagerly reaching out for one. “Hey! Those are hot, 90s Kid! Be careful, okay?”

Harvey watched as Linkara hurried away to assist the teenager before finishing off the rest of his scotch.

“Why do I have the feeling this is gonna be a long night?"


	2. Chapter 2

“So, when are we gonna get this game rolling?” Travis asked after shoving ROB under a couch cushion. 

“Soon, soon,” Dan assured him. “We’re just waiting for the fondue to reach that perfect temperature. Would you mind checking on that, my red-clad friend?”

“Of course, Dan.” Ted picked up a skewer which held a piece of bread on the end and dipped it into the gooey cheese. A loud splash accompanied this action. “Oops. Um, heh heh, it seems I have dropped my watch into the pot.”

Ninja silently sighed and buried his face in his hands, expecting a barrage of insults and jeers to rise up around him.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Dolly replied as she pulled a pair of tongs out of a drawer in the kitchen. “Dan always drops something into the fondue, so I’ve become an expert at object retrieval.”

“Last time it was my 3-D glasses!” Dan happily chimed in.

“I wish it had been ROB,” Travis muttered, before yelping when the robot rolled over the fingers he had left carelessly lying atop the arm of the couch.

“Here you go,” Dolly said, handing the cheese-covered timepiece to Ted. 

“Thank you so much,” Ted said, before he dropped to one knee and took Dolly’s hand within his own. “Your great beauty is well matched by your overwhelming kindness,” he said before softly planting a kiss on the back of her hand.

Dolly giggled, obviously flattered. “It’s nice to know there are still men out there who know how to treat a woman right.”

While Harvey bit down on his cigarette and silently seethed at the injustices of the world, Ninja didn’t even notice as the cards fell from his hands to his lap. He was too busy staring daggers at Dolly and trying to remember why he’d ever decided to take Ted to such a stupid party in the first place. Ninja would have continued staring if he hadn’t suddenly felt a pat on his shoulder.

 _Are you alright, Ninja?_ Boffo asked, his expression neutral though the corners of his mouth kept twitching as if he was holding back a smile. _You look a bit distressed._

*Why on Earth would I be distressed?* Ninja asked, trying suddenly to look calm. *I am not at all bothered by Ted’s actions. He is acting like a gentleman, and pretending we are not together quite yet, just as I requested of him. I have no reason to be jealous, or to fear that his behavior will ignite a spark between him and Dolly which slowly blossoms into something more…* Ninja’s card trailed off when he noticed Ted was now pulling out a chair for Dolly to sit down in. *Excuse me. I need to claim a seat at the table.*

Ted looked over in surprise when he realized Ninja was sitting beside him. “Oh, hello. I didn’t expect-”

*Yes, this night seems as if it will be filled with unexpected things* Ninja interrupted, his eyes boring into Ted’s. *I hope you don’t mind if I sit here, oh casual acquaintance of mine?*

“It would be my honor,” Ted said, working very hard to keep his feelings of affection from overtaking his face. Ninja nodded and then watched as Boffo sat down across from him, choosing to ignore the giddy smile Boffo now wore.

“I suppose it’s now time to begin!” Dan rubbed his hands together eagerly and led the rest of his guests to the table where they would be playing. He held his arms out and let his voice project as he spoke, a natural ability for him. “Okay! I’d like to welcome everybody to the Casa de Dan Poker Tournament of Excellence! Now, I’m sure you all know the rules, since I mailed you those nifty packets a few weeks ago, but I have an extra special announcement to make: we’re going to be playing for a prize tonight! It’s twenty dollars to buy-in, five dollars to re-buy after you go out – two times max – and the winner takes it all!” 

“You might as well just hand over your money to me and skip this whole charade of a tournament,” Snob said as he withdrew his wallet. “I am clearly the best player here, so I apologize in advance for subjecting you all to my superior poker skills.”

“Oh Snob,” Linkara said as he handed over his share. “The cockier you are, the more satisfying it will be to utterly destroy you.”

“What are you dudes gonna do if you, like, win it all?” 90s Kid asked as he took off his cap and pulled out the folded bills tucked underneath.

“I would purchase upgrades for the computer systems at the base,” Pollo replied while Ninja held up a new card.

*I would replenish my supply of dance shoes.* 

“Hmm, I could use some new test tubes and a Bunsen burner,” Linksano mused while opening his coin purse.

“I suppose this chump change would be enough to polish the case for my smokes,” Harvey said as he pulled a cigarette from the golden box. Ted started to gesture toward the singer as if asking for one, before he caught the glare on Ninja’s face and meekly lowered his hand.

“Wow, I never thought superheroes could be so boring.” Mrs. Crabtree cast a surprised glance at the team. “Don’t you guys ever cut loose and just, I don’t know, do something crazy?” 

“I suppose I could splurge on a new pair of gloves as well,” Linksano added, which caused her to roll her eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Seeing as my mastery of movie-style martial arts qualifies me as a superhero myself,” Ted interjected, (fortunately everyone was in a good enough mood not to argue that fact), “I can assure you that craziness is best left to the field of battle, Mrs. Crabtree.” 

“Or the bedroom,” Dolly added, shooting a seductive smile at Ted. Boffo watched as the pretzel in Ninja’s hand was crushed into dust and he quickly turned away to hide his ever-growing smile. 

“Charming,” Linkara commented dryly before he focused his gaze on his team. “You know, I’ve been thinking about it, and maybe you guys should consider opening up a savings account if you win. Especially you, 90s Kid.” 

90s Kid turned to him in surprise. “Huh? Why?”

“To keep your money safe of course.”

“Dude, my money is safe.”

“Oh sure,” Linkara snorted. “Storing it up in a big ball under your mattress is obviously the best way to protect it.” 

“Dude! That was a secret!” 90s Kid looked worriedly around the room before chuckling weakly. “Uh, I-I mean, I totally d-don’t keep my money there. Nope. I so don’t.”

“Don’t worry, Kid,” Dan told him as he patted his arm. “I’ll help you come up with a new place to hide it.”

“You shouldn’t even be hiding it in the first place,” Linkara insisted, which only made 90s Kid scowl before he turned to whisper into Dan’s ear.

“Dude, Linkara is totally starting to bug me.”

“He’s just worried about you,” Dan whispered back.

“I know, but he’s, like, too worried for me to handle.”

“It’ll be okay, sweetie, I promise.” After giving him a quick peck on the cheek, Dan finished collecting everyone’s money and counted it up, bringing it to an initial total of $280. Boffo suddenly gave a sharp blast of his horn, drawing Dan’s attention.

“Good idea, Boffo! As an accountant and Linkara’s financial advisor, you’d be the perfect person to hold onto this while we play!” Boffo eagerly pulled out a tiny piggy bank from his pocket and tucked the money inside it so it would be safe and sound for rest of the evening before honking his horn once more. “I agree, my friend, there’s no better security,” Dan told him with a nod of approval.

Snob looked at Dan like he was insane and raised his arms in disbelief. “You can understand what he’s saying? It’s a horn!” Ninja-Style Dancer held up another card, looking pointedly through the slit in his mask.

*Anyone can hear, but it takes a special kind of person to listen.*

“Why did I agree to come here again?” Snob muttered as he went off to fix himself another scotch. 

Once he was settled with his drink, everyone waited while Harvey shuffled up the cards, making the first deal. They eagerly watched as they were dealt their initial hands for a round of Texas Hold ‘Em.

Each player flipped up the edges of his or her cards in turn and tried in vain to study each other’s poker faces; some had more advantages than others, like how Ninja-Style Dancer’s mask covered most of his facial expressions, or the fact that ROB and Pollo were robots and therefore lacked facial expressions in the first place. You might have thought 90s Kid’s sunglasses would be an advantage as well, but the teen was terrible at hiding his emotions. Whenever he got a particularly good hand, the whole table could tell by the increased volume of his voice and his incessant giggles and fidgeting, and when he got a poor hand, his slumped shoulders and more low-key responses to questions clued them in to this fact. 

Harvey lit up another cigarette as he studied his cards before holding out the case. “Can I interest anyone?”

“Thanks.” Snob and Dan both partook of this generous offer. Dan was actually a social smoker, which didn’t bother 90s Kid at all. He was used to living with Harvey and as a result, he was oddly comforted by the smell of smoke. It reminded him of home.

“Mrs. Crabtree, you’re first to bet,” Harvey told her, gesturing politely.

“Whatever.” Mrs. Crabtree tossed out her bet and watched the others in the table follow suit. 

“Well, this hand is not very good at all. I fold!” Dan announced cheerfully as he dropped his cards. It seemed he found feeding cookies to 90s Kid a better use of his time, and he proceeded to do so while 90s Kid studied his cards and fingered his chip stack.

“Uh, I, like, call. Mmm, chocolate chip is totally the best kind of cookie.”

“I know, right?” Dan agreed as he indulged in one himself. 

“Hey, can I get another glass of that scotch?” Mrs. Crabtree asked, holding out her glass and subsequently her cards. Travis noticed and tried to cover it up.

“Careful, honey, you’re flashing the table.”

“Don’t get my hopes up, Travis,” ROB remarked, causing Travis to mutter under his breath.

Harvey offered Mrs. Crabtree a charming smile and quickly refilled her glass. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” She took a swig and sighed, already feeling pleasantly buzzed. “Mmm, you’re a real charmer, aren’t you Harv? Hey Dan, can’t you date this one instead?” She laughed then, amused by her own joke, not realizing that four sets of horrified eyes were now staring at her. Upon discovering this fact, Mrs. Crabtree blinked a few times, unsure of what exactly she’d said wrong. “Oh, uh, not that I have anything against you, 90s Kid, but I have a feeling Harvey is loaded with this quality booze and I can never resist a good bottle.”

“That’s actually not a good thing,” Travis remarked with a shudder as he remembered one especially disturbing Christmas. Harvey, having recovered first from her ludicrous suggestion, noticed Mrs. Crabtree was wobbling slightly and offered her a pleasant smile.

“Now, as much as I’d enjoy getting to come here and share another drink with a lovely dame like you, I already happen to be in a relationship-”

“A very strong, committed relationship,” Linkara interrupted as he placed a protective hand over Harvey’s.

“-a very strong, committed relationship,” Harvey added, mollifying Linkara somewhat.

“Then why were you hitting on me earlier?” Dolly wondered as she reached for the guacamole. 

Linkara’s head swiveled sharply toward the singer. “He what?”

“For the last time, I was not hitting on you!” Harvey’s cheeks were again bright red. “I am perfectly happy with the Kid here, so I am not looking for a relationship with you or Crockett or anyone else!”

“Nope, totally not. Harvey would never ever ever be with Dan. Not ever.” 90s Kid was also holding onto Dan protectively, albeit by wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck and holding him close to his chest. Dan didn’t seem to mind at all, though, and just reached for a handful of popcorn to munch on from his new position.

Mrs. Crabtree broke out in another short fit of laughter. “Heh, you know, you’re right. A classy guy like you wouldn’t fit with Dan anyway.”

“That’s for sure,” ROB agreed, earning another smack from Dolly. 90s Kid frowned a little and allowed his fingers to stroke over Dan’s cheek in a comforting manner. Dan closed his eyes at the gentle sensation and sighed in contentment. This, however, drew Linkara’s attention and caused him to frown in slight disapproval at their public displays of affection. 90s Kid reluctantly released his hold on his boyfriend, but he smiled when Dan’s hand found his under the table, and he squeezed it gently.

“Look, as much as I enjoy insulting Dan, I’m more interested in winning the damn money, so can we please get back to playing poker?” Snob was looking more annoyed than usual, so the players conceded to his demands and the game continued on.

Eventually, everyone had dropped out but Snob and Linksano, and they both watched Harvey lay out their cards with extreme intensity. 

“Check,” Linksano said after a cursory glance at his hand, which was repeated by Snob, so Harvey threw down the river card. “I’ll raise fifty,” Linksano said in a confident voice as he threw out the chips onto the table. Snob bit down on his lip and flicked his cards with his fingers, before ultimately sighing. 

“I fold.”

“Yes! Sweet victory is mine!” the scientist cried while Boffo clapped happily for his achievement. Linksano was in such a hurry to draw his winnings toward him that he accidentally knocked his cards over, revealing his hand of two jacks.

“Oh, come on! You had that?” Snob looked down at the cards in disgust while 90s Kid shot him a look of pure awe.

“Wow, dude! That was totally awesome! I thought for sure you had, like, all the king-dudes or something!”

Linksano cackled, grinning widely as he organized the chips into tidy stacks. “I told you, 90s Kid, it’s simple to triumph as long as you act like you’ve already won!” He cackled some more before turning his attention to the sulking suited man. “Can’t call a bluff to save your life, eh, Snob?”

Snob growled a little, pounding the table. “It’d be easier if it weren’t for your fucking goggles.” 

Harvey choked on his scotch suddenly, scandalized by what he’d just witnessed. “Snob, please! There are ladies present!” 

Mrs. Crabtree snorted, holding out her glass for yet another drink. “Heh, I’m no lady, gramps, and I can handle a motherfucker like Snob here.”

“Goddamn right you can handle that son of a bitch,” Dolly agreed, twisting the cap off her beer. 

“Don’t worry, Harvey, I know these two, and they can handle more than a little cursing,” Snob continued as he took another swig of his drink. “I had them practically rolling on the floor the time I told them about this shitty exploitation film I had to watch featuring nuns, torture chambers, and the SS. Now, hold onto your hat, and keep your legs together, because you might get as fucking hard as I did when I tell you about what happened to the Mother Superior.”

As Snob continued to describe the film for most of the table (fortunately Dan and 90s Kid were too busy whispering to pay him much attention), Linkara had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the sight of Harvey. He was staring at Snob wide-eyed and bewildered, barely even able to blink as the other man’s words washed over him. Then he gave a tremendous shudder before pouring another glass of scotch for Mrs. Crabtree, and an even larger one for himself. 

“Kid, I was wrong,” he murmured into Linkara’s ear. “I don’t know what I’d do if you ever let this guy into the base.”

“I do.” Linkara’s eyes darted to the pocket where Harvey kept his gun.

“Thank you dearly for sharing that most disturbing tale with us,” Ted interrupted before Snob could finish describing the tool-shed scene. “As a way to show my appreciation, I will gladly offer to deal the next round.” Ted began shuffling the deck and everyone was soon marveling at how swiftly their cards were dealt, before they found themselves marveling over how quickly the martial artist lost to Pollo. “You have quite the poker face,” he admitted with a bow of reverence to the robot.

“It took many years of practice to achieve,” Pollo replied, earning a round of laughter. Ninja shot Ted a very pleased look, since he hadn’t expected him to be fitting in so easily with his companions. Aside from the fondue incident, Ted had been acting very polite and well-behaved, even managing to tell a few interesting stories without incident. If things continued to go so well, Ninja might just end the evening’s excitement with an announcement about their relationship.

The next several hands went by smoothly, with Pollo, Linksano, Dolly, Linkara, and Travis coming out the victors. Boffo seemed to be having the worst luck that evening, and ended up having to buy himself back in. “I guess I don’t have to worry about you keeping cards up your sleeve,” Linkara joked to the clown, which earned him a horn honk that made him snort in response. “Boffo, wash your horn out with soap! Okay, it’s your deal, Pollo.”

“How the fuck is he doing that when his arms don’t move?” Snob asked, once again earning a glare from Harvey for his lack of decorum. He was starting to regret sharing his liquor and cigarettes with such a boor, snappy dresser or not.

“It’s magic, I don’t have to explain it,” Linkara told him, glancing at his cards.

“That’s your excuse for everything. Fucking cop-out.”

Harvey took great satisfaction in winning that round, and even more in counting out Snob’s chips in front of him.

Unfortunately, 90s Kid came close to losing everything after Harvey’s win. As they entered the ninth round, he found he had only four chips left. He tried not to seem too concerned about this state of affairs, but it was hard to ignore the atmosphere of disappointment that was starting to settle around him.

“Aw,” Dolly couldn’t help but say. “Dan, why don’t you loan him some of your chips so he can stay in.”

Before Dan could even attempt to reply, 90s Kid put a hand over his and shook his head fiercely. “Thanks Dolly-dudette, but I’m totally okay.”

“You’re obviously not okay,” Linkara replied, not realizing that the teen’s eyebrow had started twitching at the sound of his voice. “You’re going to be out soon. Just take the chips.”

90s Kid stared back at him, jutting out his chin slightly as he spoke. “No. I don’t need help.”

“Uh, yes you do.” 90s Kid’s shoulders hunched and he started breathing faster.

“I’m, like, fine, dude.”

“What’s the big deal about taking some help? We’re just playing a friendly game here.”

“Speak for yourself,” ROB and Travis said in unison as they continued to glare at each other. Linkara ignored them and reached for a few of his own chips.

“Here, 90s Kid, take some of mine.”

“No.”

“Would you stop being so stubborn and just take them?”

“Would you stop being so totally annoying and just, like, leave me alone for one freaking moment of my life!”

The table fell silent. Everyone looked from the unusually angry expression on 90s Kid’s face to the shocked expression on Linkara’s before glancing at each other awkwardly.

“Uh, I better go check on those jalapeno poppers,” Dolly said before scurrying off into the kitchen.

“Yeah, and we’re going to go freshen up in the bathroom,” Travis said as he helped his very-tipsy wife out of her chair. Snob rolled his eyes and stood up as well.

“I’m going for a smoke in your room, Dan, so I don’t freeze my balls off. Call me when you’ve gotten your shit together.”

As he walked off, Ted put a hand to his ear. “Is that Master Kempo Dojo I hear back from the dead? I must be off to engage him at once!”

*I will assist you in this endeavor* Ninja agreed, grabbing Ted’s wrist before the two disappeared in a puff of smoke.

_I think I heard the doorbell just now. Linksano, will you help me carry all those pizzas we ordered?_

Linksano looked at Boffo in confusion. “I didn’t hear any doorbell.” Boffo honked his horn twice and Linksano’s mouth fell open in understanding. “Oh. Right, of course. Yes, let us be off to assist with those, er, pizza pies!”

While the couple made a hasty exit from the table, Pollo turned to ROB. “Perhaps you would care to show me something in another part of the house?”

“What, are you kidding? This is the most entertaining thing that’s happened all night! I’m not leaving now!” Pollo mustered up the strongest look of disgust he could for his fellow automaton, but it seemed nothing would persuade him from leaving. 

This didn’t bother those left at the table in the slightest, since 90s Kid and Linkara were still staring at each other, while Dan and Harvey had finally sprung into action and were attempting damage control.

“Let’s everyone just cool down,” the singer said softly as he rested his hands on Linkara’s shoulders. 

“Yeah, Harvey’s right,” Dan said, trying to take 90s Kid’s hand again. “Let’s relax and take a few minutes to gather our thoughts.”

“C’mon, you two, take a few breaths and just calm yourselves. There’s no need to blow your tops over a silly card game.”

“It’s not cuz of a silly card game!” 90s Kid snapped, pulling free of Dan’s hand to point accusingly at Linkara. “It’s everything! He’s always on my case, treating me like some baby or something! I’m totally sick of it!”

Linkara seemed to snap out of his stupor at this and he shook Harvey off so he could point back at 90s Kid. “Everything I’ve done has been to help you, 90s Kid! I know you don’t always like or appreciate it, but I’m trying my best to look out for you! I only treat you like you’re young because you are young! You’re the youngest one here, and you still have so much to learn about the world!”

“I know I’m young and dumb and junk, but I can still learn stuff without you always bossing me around!”

Linkara’s eyes widened in surprise. “What? 90s Kid, I don’t think you’re dumb. I swear I don’t!” 90s Kid crossed his arms, clearly disbelieving, and Linkara sighed, dropping his hands onto the table. “Look, we obviously have some issues we need to address between us, but this really isn’t the time or the place. I don’t want to ruin the party, so why don’t we agree to put this…disagreement on hold until we’re back home. If you feel like I’ve been insulting your intelligence, then I won’t say anything else to you for the rest of the night. Is that okay with you, 90s Kid?”

90s Kid stared at him a moment longer before he also lowered his arms and shrugged. “You can talk to me, dude. I, like, don’t wanna mess up the party either, so we can totally finish this junk later.”

“Okay, so it’s settled then.” The two nodded at each other before leaning back in their chairs, all previous tension gone for now.

“It’ll be all right, sweetie,” Dan murmured to 90s Kid as he leaned over to nuzzle their cheeks together. 

“I’m proud of you, Kid. You kept your head and made sure the situation didn’t escalate.” Harvey leaned over and planted a kiss on Linkara’s cheek, earning a small smile from his boyfriend in return. 

“What the fuck was that? The fight’s over? Are you kidding me?” Now it was ROB’s turn to look disgusted.

“I’m so sorry you were bored that my companions did not resort to violence during their argument,” Pollo said, somehow managing to make his voice drip with sarcasm, but ROB didn’t seem to notice. 

“Seriously, what is wrong with you people? Is everyone a pansy-ass where you come from?” 

“There’s nothing wrong with being more of a lover than a fighter,” Dan quipped, earning another smile from 90s Kid, who nodded along with his words.

ROB made a noise of disgust. “I warned you about making me sick, Dan. Please don’t remind me of the fact that you have a lover now. I already tried to electrocute myself the one time I heard you two going at it.”

“Yeah – wait, what?” Linkara turned sharply to ROB, uncertainty and discomfort coloring his features. 

“Thank God I only caught the tail end of it since I’d been out late spying – er, shopping,” ROB continued, unaware of the looks of horror he was being given by everyone at that moment. “But I know I’ll never be able to fully erase those screams from my memory chips. Damn, has that kid got lungs on him.”

“ROB!” Dan cried out, looking completely mortified. “Shut up, will you!” 90s Kid, whose cheeks had grown scarlet, suddenly moved his hands up to cover his face from the piercing stare Linkara was now fixing him with. ROB looked between the two factions before snickering. 

“Oh, you’re not serious. Don’t tell me he doesn’t know about you two? I thought he was the leader of your weird little cult. Doesn’t he have to give his approval before one of his flock is sent out to stud?” 

“Would you shut up?” Dan snapped, feeling a bit of color in his own cheeks.

“I…I can’t…” Linkara was finding it increasingly difficult to articulate his thoughts, let alone have thoughts in the first place. His mind was a whirl of past events and images that started blending together. He remembered all the times he’d seen Dan and 90s Kid kissing, and how the kisses had grown more intense over time; he remembered the condom he’d discovered in Dan's wallet, and the shaky explanation the older man had offered for why he had it; he remembered the time he and Snob had found a sweaty 90s Kid and Dan on their beach blanket, and what Snob had insisted they were up to. The truth finally hit him, slamming into his consciousness with the same impact a blow to the head would give, and his mouth fell open while his cheeks burned bright red. “You two really…you’ve done…”

“I-I need air! Right now!” 90s Kid cried before he jumped up and fled the house, running out into the backyard. 

“Wait, Kid, it’s okay!” Dan tried to call after him, but by then Linkara was also on his feet.

“I need some too. Air that is. Please excuse me.” He bolted out the front door, passing by a confused Boffo and Linksano, who had been on their way back to the table.

“Is the game over already?” Linksano asked.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” Dan tried to explain as he and Harvey both stood up. “We’re just gonna take a little break right now, so feel free to have some more snacks if you’d like and we’ll be back as soon as we can.” The others nodded and moved back to the refreshment table to Dan’s relief. He was about to head outside when Harvey caught him by the arm.

“Look, I know this is a rotten deal you’ve gotten, but it’s also fixable, Crockett. You go handle Junior and I’ll talk to the Kid, alright?” Dan sighed, shooting a bitter look at ROB, who was too busy waiting for Mrs. Crabtree to return to notice.

“Don’t worry about him,” Pollo told them both. “I will discover a way to make him suffer before the night is through.”

“Thanks, Pollo.” Dan turned back to Harvey, still looking somewhat embarrassed. “I’m really sorry about all this. I never wanted to keep things from Linkara or any of you guys, but Kid was pretty insistent-”

“Forget about it. You did the right thing respecting Junior’s wishes like that,” Harvey told him with a look of approval. “None of this mess is your fault, it’s just one of those messy things we all gotta accept about life. Besides, this was bound to happen eventually. I guess now’s the time.” 

Dan smiled a little, feeling better. “I guess you’re right. Good luck, Harvey.”

“Same to you.” They both nodded and went off in opposite directions to find their unruffled beaus. Linksano and Boffo watched them depart before turning to Pollo.

 _Pollo, can you fill us in on what happened?_ Boffo wondered.

“Trust me, you’re better off not having that knowledge,” Pollo answered, wondering if ROB was right about the difficulty in erasing memory chips.


	3. Chapter 3

Ninja let out a silent sigh. He was used to hiding in tight, cramped spaces when he went on missions, but finding himself in a dark room crammed in between a washing machine and Ted was not what he’d been expecting to do during a party. The scent of soap and dryer sheets mingled in the warm, still air, and Ninja suspected that no member of the house had done any cleaning in the room for quite some time, if the dust bunnies dancing across his shoes were anything to go by. Though what made him most uncomfortable was the way Ted kept wrapping his arms around Ninja’s body and cuddling close to him.

*Ted, I know you have enough room to keep from clinging to me like Saran Wrap* he held up over his shoulder.

“Sorry, Ninja, but it’s much too dark in this room,” Ted said, his breath warm against Ninja’s neck. “I just can’t make out what’s on that card of yours.” Ninja could tell Ted was smiling very happily as he said this.

*You are going to be in very big trouble once the night is over.*

“I still can’t see a thing, Ninja!”

Just then, the sound of a jar breaking could be heard from the kitchen, followed by a few curse words. Ninja was shocked to find himself spun around so that he was now facing the other way, while Ted opened the door to the laundry room before hurrying outside.

“Dolly, are you okay?”

Ninja’s eyes narrowed to slits when he heard this and he quickly returned to the door, opening it just a crack so he could peer out as his boyfriend bent down to help pick up the broken jar.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Dolly said as she wet some paper towels to dab at the mess. “I’m just being an idiot today.”

“I don’t think there is an idiotic bone in your body,” Ted said kindly as he reached for the towels. “May I help you clean this up? I’d hate for you to accidentally cut yourself.”

“Thanks,” Dolly said, smiling sweetly down as the martial artist went to work. Ninja was certain flames were shooting out of his eyes by now. “So, Ted, are you doing anything next weekend? Because I know this great bar that’s really close to here that serves the best margaritas.”

“Oh.” Ted blinked up at Dolly in honest surprise. “I thank you very kindly for the offer, but I must let you know that I am already smitten with a very handsome man, Dolly.”

“Seriously? Shit, I’m just surrounded by them.” Dolly sighed and rubbed at forehead. “I guess I’m stuck with Christian Mingle again.” Ninja couldn’t help smirking as the suddenly depressed Dolly grabbed a bottle of something he suspected was very strong from the fridge and disappeared from sight.

“I didn’t mean to upset her,” Ted mumbled, looking a bit perturbed by her response. Ninja chose this time to vacate the laundry room and he approached Ted with a much gentler expression than he usually wore.

*I suppose I will have to teach you how to be your charming, witty, and gentlemanly self without accidentally leading women on.* Ted looked at Ninja’s note in surprise.

“You really think I was all of those things tonight, Ninja?”

Ninja nodded. *Yes, Ted. I’ve had a very wonderful time tonight and you contributed largely to my happiness. I’m beginning to feel silly for being so worried about introducing you to my companions because you have proven yourself to be a wonderful partner. I am so proud of you.*

Ninja expected Ted to respond to his words by tearing up and blubbering about how happy he was as well, which is why he was shocked, yet delighted, when Ted pushed him against the refrigerator and started kissing him passionately.

“You don’t know…how much I’ve…wanted to…ohhh…to kiss you tonight…”

Ninja found himself inexplicably turned on by Ted’s vagrant violation of the rules that night, so he wrapped his arms around the other man and kissed back just as eagerly.

*If I…ever see you flirt with…another woman again…even by accident…I will…ohhh…tear both of your eyes out…*

“I…I love you so much…oh God, Ninja, I love you!”

*I know…screw the game…let’s go to your place!*

With this, the two fighters vanished for the rest of the evening, although by this point, only Boffo seemed to notice, and he was much too pleased to bring up the issue with anyone else.

\-----

Dan easily found 90s Kid since he was sitting on his favorite swing on the outdoor swing set that had been on the grounds long before Dolly’s family had lived in the building. He was rubbing his arms and shivering, trying in vain to pull his thin flannel jacket closer around himself.

“Come back inside, sweetie,” Dan said in a gentle voice as he approached 90s Kid. “It’s freezing out here. I don’t want you to get sick.” 90s Kid kept his head down and shook his head, teeth chattering slightly.

“N-no…d-don’t wanna…” Feeling bad for his boyfriend, Dan took off his white jacket and laid it over the teen’s shoulders before moving behind him and wrapping his arms around his body. 90s Kid’s trembling ceased somewhat and he nuzzled against Dan for warmth, despite the fact that his cheeks still burned red-hot with humiliation.

“I’m so sorry, Kid,” Dan said in a sad voice. “I never wanted anyone to go and do something like that to you. ROB can just be so thoughtless sometimes. Are you okay?” 90s Kid hesitated before shaking his head.

“Linkara’s totally gonna look at me different now…” he mumbled.

“Well, yeah, maybe he will, in a way.” At 90s Kid’s grimace, Dan quickly amended. “But not in a bad way!” 

“Huh?” As 90s Kid turned his head to give him a confused look, Dan went on. 

“What I mean is, I think the reason Linkara never caught on about us until now is because he still thinks of you as, well, young. Someone who’s too young to be in a relationship like this, to be specific. You said it yourself in there, you feel like he treats you like a child at times, and it bothers you, right? Well, maybe now that he knows about us, he’ll finally start seeing you as more grown up, Kid.” 90s Kid digested this in silence for a few moments.

“He totally does still see me as little, doesn’t he…” he mused quietly. “I’m not a little kid, Dan.”

“I know that, Kid, and you know that. Even Harvey knows that, I can tell.” Dan saw 90s Kid blush again and he placed a kiss on his cheek. “He never mentioned it to me or anything, but he’s not blind, or in denial like Linkara. He knew we were getting closer, Kid.” 90s Kid squirmed again, so Dan squeezed his shoulders in a comforting manner. “Look, I know it’s embarrassing now, but later on I think this moment will have been worth it, because he’ll see you as more of an equal. That’s what you’ve been wanting for a long time, right?” 90s Kid gave him a small smile and slid his hands into Dan’s.

“Yeah. I have wanted that. You totally always know the right things to say, man. How’d you like, get so smart about stuff?” Now it was Dan’s turn to blush.

“I wouldn’t call myself smart, Kid. I just always wanna do my best to help and give advice if I can. Especially to you.”

“You do help, dude. And you’re right, it’ll be weird for a while, but like you said, it’ll be worth it. Cuz I wouldn’t, like, trade this for anything in the world, Dan.” Dan smiled, pulling 90s Kid’s body close in a tight hug.

“Me either, Kid.”

\-----

Harvey found Linkara sitting on the front porch and staring out into the quickly darkening sky. He sat down next to him, groaning a little from the effort, before laying an arm over his shoulders. “You okay?” Linkara didn’t respond, but his flushed cheeks gave Harvey his answer. “C’mon, Kid, you’re smarter than that. You had to have had some idea of what those two were up to.”

“I guess I’m not as smart as everyone thinks,” Linkara replied flatly.

“Well, what did you think they were doing when Junior spends the night at Crockett’s house? Just sleeping?”

“Yes!” 

Harvey shot him a look. “In the same bed?”

“He’d been having nightmares!” Linkara cried out vehemently, turning to stare back into Harvey’s skeptical expression. “After what happened with Holokara he told me he couldn’t sleep well for a while, so he slept next to Dan for comfort! And then there was that time he ran off and we couldn’t find him for a day, and Dan needed comforting! I just thought they were… they both have seen so many horrible things in their lives…so I thought…” Linkara trailed off and took some deep breaths to steady himself before speaking again. “He…he’s just so… so young, Harvey.”

“He might be younger than us, but he’s an adult now, Kid.” Harvey rested a hand on Linkara’s shoulder and spoke calmly. “He’s growing up faster than you think and he’s making his own choices about love, and about sex.” Linkara winced at the word, shuddering.

“Damn it, Harvey, don’t say that!” Harvey suddenly laughed outright, ruffling Linkara’s feathers further. “What the hell? Stop laughing at me!”

“Kid, who’s being the immature one right now, you or Junior?” Linkara opened his mouth to speak but paused, his face screwing up in thought. Harvey calmed his laughter and spoke to him gently once more.

“He’s growing up, Kid. It might not seem like it sometimes, but he is. He’s making his choices with Crockett and we should respect that more than anyone. If Junior’s old enough to risk his life fighting with us, then he’s old enough to fall in love. You don’t have to think about what they’re doing behind closed doors, but don’t cover up your eyes and ears and pretend what they have doesn’t exist.”

Linkara sighed, his whole body sagging slightly as he realized he couldn’t argue anymore. “I just…I just want him to be safe, Harvey.”

“I’m certain that’s what Crockett wants too. He may be a little out there, but there’s no way he’d hurt Junior.”

“I know. You’re right, Harvey. He’s not a little kid anymore and I just need to realize that.” Linkara rested his head against Harvey’s shoulder for a moment, enjoying the evening’s silence. Then his lips quirked up into a smile. “I guess it’s true what they say: with age comes wisdom, since you’re the wisest man I know.”

“I think you’re a little wise yourself, Kid,” Harvey said, playfully nipping at his neck to elicit a gasp from the younger man, before kissing his cheek. “C’mon, let’s go back inside, sweetheart. I’ve still got more of your dough to win.”

“In your dreams,” Linkara countered, standing up before holding out a hand to help Harvey. “I’m just getting my second wind, and I’m ready to take you to the cleaners.”

“Oh, would you mind taking my suit along with you?” The two laughed and continued joking as they headed back inside, pausing only when they came face-to-face with 90s Kid and Dan. 90s Kid quickly dropped his head again but he remained still, seemingly waiting for Linkara to speak. Dan patted his arm before he beckoned to Harvey. 

“Why don’t we give these two some space? I could use another drink and I’m sure you’d like a refill as well.” 

“Do I ever.” Harvey gave Linkara one last shoulder squeeze of encouragement before he walked off with Dan, leaving the two to their privacy.

“So, um…a-are you, like, m-mad?” 90s Kid began, sounding very nervous.

“What? Oh, no, I’m not mad, 90s Kid,” Linkara quickly replied. “I’m just…well, I don’t really know how I am right now, but it’s not mad, I can promise you that.” 

“Oh.” 90s Kid shuffled his feet a little and Linkara fiddled with his fingers, wondering why words were failing him now. He’d been so good at giving speeches and advice before, so why was it growing more difficult to even speak at all. 

“Look, 90s Kid…” he began before stopping, as he had no idea how to continue. 90s Kid had quirked his head up at the sound of his name and was now watching Linkara intently. Feeling flustered all of a sudden, Linkara lowered his gaze and realized 90s Kid was still wearing Dan’s jacket around his shoulders. This just made him feel more flustered so he quickly looked away, which caught the teen’s attention. He glanced down, realized what Linakra had been looking at, and made to pull the jacket off, mumbling an apology.

“Uh, s-sorry, dude, I didn’t mean-”

“No, 90s Kid, it’s okay,” Linkara stopped him. 90s Kid flashed him a puzzled look so he sighed and decided to just come right out and say it. “You’re not a little kid anymore, 90s Kid.”

“Really? I-I mean, yeah, I know I’m not, but I, like, didn’t think you were gonna…” He trailed off awkwardly, but Linkara nodded that he understood.

“Look, I know you love Dan and that he loves you, and I want to support you guys in whatever you do. That doesn’t mean I want to actually see, hear, or know about it in any shape or form, but… I accept it.” 90s Kid’s brows rose in slight surprise but he smiled when he realized Linkara wasn’t angry at all.

“Oh wow, dude. Thanks. And I totally know what you mean. It’s just like, I think it’s radical that you and Harvey are tight, but I don’t wanna hear about that junk either.” Linkara made a mock offended face at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He couldn’t keep it up for long, though, and the two soon burst out into giggles, both feeling significantly better.

“So, are we cool, dude?” Linkara straightened his hat and held out his hand for 90s Kid to shake.

“Yeah, we’re cool, 90s Kid. Or maybe this is the right time to say, 90s Adult.” 

To Linkara’s surprise, 90s Kid giggled again before pulling him into a brief hug. “Nah, I still hate that name. 90s Kid is totally the best name for me, man. I might be totally mature and junk now, but what you see is still, like, what you get.” 

“How could I have forgotten?” Linkara asked, smiling again. 

The two pulled apart and headed to the refreshment table where Harvey and Dan had been watching them. Relieved that things finally seemed settled, each couple shared a kiss before loading up their plates with more snacks to enjoy. 

“Uh, so is it safe to come back yet?” Travis poked his head in from the kitchen, along with his wife and Dolly.

“It is indeed, my friends,” Dan said, slipping back into the role of host. “Now, if everyone will reconvene at the table, we can continue the Casa de Dan Poker Tournament of Excellence!”

\-----

The tournament lasted for several more hours, and there were victories for almost everyone at the table. Unfortunately 90s Kid couldn’t seem to win however hard he tried, but he was smart enough to fold each time before he lost any more of his chips. When the hour grew late and the guests started to grow sleepy, things began to wrap up. Mrs. Crabtree eventually became too drunk to play and shortly afterwards ROB voluntarily went out so he could enjoy her tipsy fondling of him to his mechanical heart’s content. 

“You are never allowed to doubt me again,” Pollo scolded as he dropped out of the game as well. Linkara rubbed his eyes and munched on a cold slice of pizza before shrugging.

“Yeah, you’re right. Just because you’re both robots doesn’t mean you’ll get along. Though I have to admit, it has been fun watching you two bicker all night.”

“If I had any more money left, I’d make an offer for him. Or maybe we could trade?” Travis hopefully inquired as he joined his wife on the couch, much to ROB’s chagrin. 

“Uh, sorry, but Pollo’s under contract,” Linkara answered, not caring if that made sense or not. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to stand living with ROB for more than a few hours, and even more sure that Pollo would most likely kill him in his sleep. 

Boffo was the next out of the game. He gave a few sad honks of his horn as he stood from the table, and Dan extended a hand to him. “It was a pleasure getting to converse with you this evening, my most colorful friend.” Boffo nodded and shook it vigorously until the entire hand popped off in Dan’s grip. “Oh you,” Dan chuckled as he handed the novelty hand back to the clown. “Of course I’ll join you for smoothies at the mall next week!”

“I still don’t fucking get it,” Snob said with a shake of his head. 

Boffo’s exit was followed by Linksano’s. The scientist watched as his chips were gathered into Linkara’s ever-growing pile with a sigh. “Oh well, I guess that’s it for me.”

“You did totally awesome, dude,” 90s Kid told him as he stood up. Linksano offered an appreciative smile.

“Thanks, 90s Kid. Just so you know, I’m rooting for you now.”

“As if I could win,” 90s Kid muttered, although he couldn’t help feeling pleased nonetheless. Linksano strode over to where Boffo was and patted his arm fondly. 

“I was rooting for you first and foremost, of course.” Boffo smiled and kissed his cheek softly. 

_I was rooting for you as well, Oscar. You’re quite the card player._ With that, Boffo reached behind Linksano’s ear and suddenly plucked out the king of hearts. Linksano clapped happily, as he always did when he saw one of Boffo’s tricks, then blushed as he caught the implication. 

“You’ll have to show me how to do that one day…” The scientist murmured as they joined hands and looked to the table again to watch the remaining players. 

Dolly was the next to drop out, followed by Harvey, who couldn’t help but grit his teeth at the fact that Snob had beaten him. 

“Hey, cheer up,” Dolly said, clapping Harvey on the back as she poured him a fresh drink. “You still came in a respectable sixth. And if it’ll make you feel better, you can even hit on me until the game ends.”

Harvey downed his drink and groaned. “How long will it take for me to get sloshed enough to forget I ever said anything this evening?” 

It was now down to Linkara, Snob, Dan and 90s Kid. Harvey would have given his last red cent to ensure anybody except the sharp-dressed man won the pot and he watched the game feeling as anxious as the other players did.

Dan dealt out the cards in the next round and watched as Linkara and Snob checked before showing them the flop. Linkara immediately grinned widely. 

“I’m going all-in,” he declared, shoving his chips to the center of the table. Snob looked at him carefully, trying to decide what he should do. 

“Oh…screw it, I’m not falling for a bluff again.” He shoved all his chips into the stack and flipped up his cards. “Flush! What do you have?”

“Quad jacks!”

“Motherfucker!” Snob shouted in frustration while Harvey flashed a triumphant grin.

“I knew you could do it, Kid!” Before he even realized it, he was giving Linkara a very passionate smooch right there at the table. 

“W-well, I, uh, thank you there, Harvey.” Linkara seemed somewhat giddy after pulling back and he blushed bright red when the singer bent down to whisper something into his ear. Snob stormed up from the table to get himself another drink as it came down to the final three.

“Get ready for me, Kid. Remember, I’m the one who taught you this game,” Dan teased his as 90s Kid shuffled up the cards. 90s Kid grinned at him boldly.

“Dude, I was born ready.” He dealt out their hands and checked his cards carefully. Everyone still in the house found their attention drifting back to the game as the three tried their best to bait each other out with ridiculous taunts. 

“Well, I think I’m going to play it safe this round and let you two love birds duke it out,” Linkara declared as he folded before smiling mischievously at Dan and 90s Kid.

“Oh, you are a trouble-maker, aren’t you,” Dan told him with a laugh. 

“The only one who’s like, in trouble here is you, Dan.” 90s Kid fingered his four chips before dropping them in the center of the table. “I’m all in.”

Dan’s grin grew and he shoved all his chips into the pot as well. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.” They stared into each other’s eyes as they flipped up their hands. “And the student…” Dan breathed, realizing he had been beaten. “…becomes the master.” He shoved the pile toward his boyfriend before kissing him passionately. 90s Kid blushed with delight.

“I won, dude! And with a full house! That was totally one of the best shows from the 90s ever!”

“Congratulations,” Linkara told him, choosing not to comment on his questionable television preferences at that time.

“Alright, dude, it’s down to just us two now!” 90s Kid looked intently at Linkara from across the table. Linkara grinned at him and shuffled up the deck, ready to play the final hand. He noticed that 90s Kid was smiling up at Dan, who had moved to stand behind his boyfriend in a show of support, and witnessed 90s Kid nuzzling against him slightly. Expression unchanging, Linkara dealt the cards without comment, save one. 

“Good luck, 90s Kid.” 

“You too, Linkara.” 

The two realized that they had both grown that night, as people and as friends. Linkara no longer felt the need to offer helpful suggestions to 90s Kid, and 90s Kid no longer felt as if he had to hide his affection for Dan from Linkara. There was still some awkwardness lingering between them, but it was quickly fading as they thought about how nothing had really changed. Despite what had been revealed that night, they were both still friends and teammates who could take a break from saving the world for a friendly game of cards.

Linkara showed the flop. 

“All in.”

“Me too.”

They were ready to finally declare a winner to this everlasting tournament. Linkara turned over the next two cards and they each sucked in a breath, glanced at each other, and held up their hands. There was a brief moment of silence as they compared cards, before Linkara threw his down and bowed his head.

“Congratulations, 90s Kid.” 

Cheers quickly erupted throughout the room, along with several horn honks from an enthusiastic Boffo.

“I knew you could do it, sweetie!” Dan cried, bending down to hug 90s Kid’s shoulders and pepper his cheeks with kisses.

“That was very impressive,” Pollo told him while Snob rolled his eyes.

“Can’t believe I was beaten by a middle-schooler.”

“I always knew you had it in you!” Linksano cackled while Mrs. Crabtree screamed unrecognizable words of joy from the couch. Boffo ruffled 90s Kid’s hair before withdrawing his piggy bank from his pocket.

“Oh wow…is this, like, mine?” 90s Kid looked positively bewildered as he fingered the stack of bills, having never seen, let alone owned, such a large sum of money in his life before. He was struck with a sudden thought as he counted through the stack, and divided it into two equal piles before holding one out to Linkara. “Here, dude.”

Linkara stared at his outstretched hand in surprise. “90s Kid, what is this?”

“You got second place, dude! I don’t want you to go home empty-handed.”

Linkara tried to push the money back toward him. “90s Kid, that’s yours, you won it fair and square. I can’t just take it!” 90s Kid refused to budge and held out the money toward Linkara again.

“C’mon, dude! It’s just half, and I want you to have it! Think of it as, like, payment for all the years of room and board you gave me, dude.” 

“Well, if you put it that way…” Linkara slowly accepted the stack and grinned. He couldn’t help feeling touched and also very impressed with 90s Kid’s display of maturity and generosity, and the last remnants of doubt he felt about the teenager started to melt away. 

Harvey came over and clapped 90s Kid on the back. “You did real good, Junior.” Pride and respect flowed through him with this gesture and 90s Kid looked up at the singer happily.

“Thanks, Harvey.” He stood then and turned to Dan, hugging him close. “And thank you, dude, for, well, everything.”

“You’re very welcome, Kid.” Dan was also obviously proud of his boyfriend and he watched 90s Kid stuff his winnings under his hat with a pleased expression.

“You were right, Harvey. He really is growing up,” Linkara murmured as they watched 90s Kid receive more congratulations from the others. 

“I know, Kid. You did a great job helping him along the way.” Harvey pulled Linkara in for another kiss, but the two were soon interrupted by a nervous clearing of a throat.

“Hmm? What is it, 90s Kid?”

90s Kid grinned at them both and handed a can of soda to Linkara.

“Sorry to interrupt, dude, but I was hoping we could, like, toast the evening or something.”

“Oh. Sure, that’s a great idea.” Linkara clinked his can with 90s Kid’s. “To a member of the team I couldn’t do without and a good friend I’m glad to have in my life.”

“D-ditto,” 90s Kid said, his face red once more. 

\-----

It was close to four in the morning when Linkara and his group began to take their leave. 

“Thanks again for inviting us tonight,” Linkara said, always the spokesperson for the team. “We should do this again sometime.” 

“Yeah, whatever,” Dolly said with a shrug, before looking over and sighing at the passed out Crabtrees on the couch. 

“Are you certain we can’t be of assistance with them?” Linksano wondered.

“Don’t you worry your fleshy little heads about those two,” ROB said in a surprisingly creepy tone that bordered on ominous. “Both of the Crabtrees are pretty much dead to the world right now; nothing we say to them…no, nothing we do to them will bother either one in the slightest.” The robot gave a disturbingly wild laugh then which startled everyone. “It’s perfect! It’s the opportunity of a lifetime! One which I’ve been waiting to arrive for so fucking long and now I can finally-”

In mid-sentence, ROB stopped talking. He went completely silent, as if someone had pressed a mute button on him. Dolly frowned down at him.

“What’s wrong, ROB? Did those ancient batteries of yours finally wear out?” Surprisingly, ROB chose not to reply to that remark. He just remained stock-still and completely silent for a solid minute. Then two. “ROB? What’s wrong with you?” Dolly picked up the robot, her frown deepening. “That’s weird. Why aren’t you moving or talking anymore?”

“Yes, it is quite an odd situation, isn’t it?” Pollo remarked in a tone that sounded innocent enough to the untrained ear. “It’s almost as if someone hacked into his power system and found a way to deactivate him for the time being.”

“I guess that’s what it’s like,” Dolly remarked before shaking ROB like a maraca. ROB continued not to react. “Well shit. I hope something isn’t seriously wrong with him or Dan is going to flip out.”

“Please do not worry too much,” Pollo continued, hovering over to bop ROB on the head with his beak. “I am certain he will be performing his regular annoying functions by tomorrow, long after the Crabtrees have returned to their home.”

Dolly shrugged and nodded at him. “Yeah, okay. I was planning to take a Xanax anyway, so I’ll just do that now and worry about him after I’ve gotten some rest.” She tossed ROB over her shoulder back into the house and Pollo had to quickly hover away so she wouldn’t hear his snickers. “So, I guess this is good night, everyone. I hope you all had a good time and remember, you can come back anytime as long as you bring more food and booze.”

Linkara nodded. “We understand. Good night!” 

The team walked out of the house then and Harvey shut the door behind him. Linkara was preparing to teleport them all back to the base when he suddenly looked around, confused. “Where’s 90s Kid?”

“Junior said he was gonna stay over here tonight, remember? He and Crockett are having a, er, slumber party.” Linkara’s face drooped slightly and Harvey laughed once again, putting his hands on his shoulders. “Aw, don’t be like that, Kid. You know I had to bring a gem like that up again.”

“It’s not that, Harvey. This whole situation still requires some getting used to for me…” Harvey pressed a kiss to his lips and pulled him away from the others for a moment.

“Don’t worry, Kid. Once we get home, I’ll provide a good distraction for you, if you catch my drift.” 

Linkara’s smile returned in earnest. “Oh, I think I catch it, Harvey, and I’m ready to pitch something your way as well.” 

Harvey laughed and slid an arm around the younger man’s shoulder. “I may not be able to take you round the world yet, Kid, but tonight I’ll send you to the moon instead.” In no time at all, every thought had fled from Linkara’s head except for what his boyfriend might have planned upon their return home.

\-----

Dan and 90s Kid tumbled down onto Dan’s bed, giggling and kissing each other with joy. 

“Congrats again on your winnings, sweetie. I’m so happy for you!” 90s Kid shook his head in amazement, still in disbelief that the whole night had really happened.

“Thanks, man. This party was so totally awesome!” 90s Kid kissed him again and Dan looked up into his face lovingly. Dan loved the moments when they were alone together in bed at night, because he got to gaze into 90s Kid’s eyes and run his fingers through his hair without being hindered by his sunglasses or cap. He noticed that the teen seemed to be concentrating on something all of a sudden, though, and gently stroked his cheek.

“What’s on your mind, sweetie?” 90s Kid cuddled up closer to Dan and continued to chew on his lip as he pondered.

“I was just thinking about what Linkara and I talked about tonight. It’s weird…all this time, I’ve been, like, so nervous about him finding out, y’know? And then after ROB ratted us out, it was totally embarrassing for a little while, but then…we were just, like, playing cards like nothing had happened, man. What’s with that?”

Dan chuckled, rubbing slow circles on his boyfriend’s back. “I guess we shouldn’t have been so worried after all. You and Linkara are good friends, Kid, and something like this definitely wouldn’t change that fact. I’m proud of you for handling it so well.” 90s Kid fidgeted, as he always did when Dan praised him, and crawled on top of him.

“Thanks, Dan. And for right now, dude…I’ve totally been eager to get you all to myself…” 

Dan grinned. “Oh, I like the sound of that. But are you sure you want to, uh, start things up when there are still other people in the house?” 

90s Kid didn’t hesitate before leaning down to capture Dan’s lips with his own. “Yeah, dude, I’m sure,” he said without the usual uncertainty in his voice. “I am totally sure.” 

Dan shivered with pleasure at 90s Kid’s newfound boldness and he kissed him deeply, moaning as warm, soft hands traveled all over his body. He quickly laid back to allow 90s Kid to take the lead and found himself pleased with that decision in no time. As the two mingled beneath the sheets, dawn broke, and the light of the sunrise shone through the windows, bathing them in a romantic glow as they lay together. 

“Oh…Kid…” Dan panted, feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion and joy, “th-that…that was…so…oh God…”

“I guess…Linksano-dude was right…” 90s Kid murmured as he drifted off to sleep, “it’s all…totally about…confidence…”


End file.
